TAMPA, Fla. — Natalie Baird-King is the author of “Forgiving Unforgivable,” a book about overcoming trauma and forgiving those who caused it.
For Baird-King, her trauma started in childhood.
“My dad was abusive to my mother. And as four children, my earliest memory was, I remember him coming home from work. And he pushed my mom into their bedroom, and he started beating her with his belt. And I remember grabbing my sister, and we ran into our bedroom, and we crouched down in our closet, and we were there for a good hour,” said Baird-King.
After witnessing that domestic violence, she repeated the same family history in her first marriage.
“That relationship was abusive, and then the abusive episodes continued, and then that relationship ended. And each relationship ended up getting worse and worse. Ultimately, the last time that I was abused, I got a broken arm from a man I dated and ended up in the hospital,” explained Baird-King.
That’s when she began to analyze her past to figure out why she kept choosing abusive partners and why she couldn’t find happiness.
Baird-King says the answer was simple.
“I had to find forgiveness for my abusive father and all the men that had abused me in the past. I just didn't know how to do it. And I didn't know that was what I was searching for at the time,” said Baird-King.
But once Baird-King found forgiveness, she also found freedom, which immediately impacted her mental well-being.
“When the most heinous things can happen in your life and people who have caused you the most tremendous pain ever that you can find forgiveness for them. And forgiveness is not for them, really. It's for us,” explained Baird-King.
And she says there are four essential secrets to overcoming trauma. It is all in the word “Hope.”
- H (Harken back and recall the memory of the past)
- O (Open your heart and feel the emotion)
- P (Proclaim that forgiveness)
- E (Experience to freedom)
She admits her late father-in-law, well-known radio and TV host Larry King, helped inspire her to write this book.
“He was the greatest encourager to really go after those dreams. My dream is to help others heal. And he was a great influence around that,” said Baird-King.
Baird-King believes that if you can find compassion for the person who caused your trauma due to their own pain, it may help you find forgiveness, as she did.
“For the first time in my life, over the last four and a half years, I had this tremendous amount of happiness, no matter what happens in my life. And that's a lot. That's a lot to be proud of,” explained Baird-King.
Baird-King’s book “Forgiving Unforgivable” is now on sale on Amazon, and she’s already working on a second book.
You can read more about her work as an advocate for domestic violence victims here.
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